What if the opportunity of a lifetime lands in your lap?

Opportunities are scarce in the writing world. You must be prepared. You cannot blow it. You may not get a second.

Seizing opportunities has been on my mind a lot. I’m so grateful and excited to be going to Under the Volcano in January. I’m also pretty scared. The program I’m going to is bilingual. You could say my Spanish is rusty—if you were kind. Objectively, I sound like a toddler.

West Santa Fe Plaza, 1940s. Photographer unknown.

My mother was born and raised in Santa Fe. Her father spoke Spanish with a smattering of Navajo. Her mother worked as a cook and housekeeper for the wealthy Anglos in Santa Fe and was bilingual. Her first and preferred language was Spanish.

My father was born in Santa Fe, but spent his early childhood in Rancho de Taos, raised by his maternal grandmother who did not speak English.

I was born in the 1950’s. None of my 20+ cousins (also born in the ‘50s) speak Spanish either. We get along with Spanglish. Kitchen Spanish. The swear words. We all got the message to speak English.

I’ve read most of Reyna Grande’s work now and I’m a huge fan. Her writing is clean. Clear. Emotionally powerful. She writes passionately about the immigrant experience. I am not an immigrant. America “immigrated” to New Mexico during the U.S. war of aggression against Mexico from 1846-1848.

I’m bi-cultural, and have never really fit in anywhere. Can I “brush up” my Spanish enough to fit in? What if I’m so in awe of Reyna Grande that I freeze when I try to speak? What if I’m too old to fit in? What if my compañeros think less of me because I speak like a child? What if I humiliate myself with my pronunciation or word choices? (New Mexico Spanish is different from Mexican Spanish or Spain’s Spanish.) What if? What if? What if?

Seizing opportunity requires confronting all your fears, insecurities, and weaknesses head on. They have a habit of popping up, even after you’ve dealt with them. Frankly, it’s terrifying to go someplace where you don’t know anyone, and aren’t sure you will be able to communicate effectively.

But… there is another “what if” out there. What if my fears are just that? What if she likes my work? What if find my people? What if I make friends who “get me”? What if this time I study Spanish and it sticks? Those are possibilities too.

How does seizing opportunity feel for you?

Drop me a note, I’d love to know.